Talking Dried Pineapples with Jesse Eisenberg

I shop at a local co-op name Bloomingfoods a lot. Occasionally, I see a fellow customer who looks just like “that guy who was nominated for an Oscar for playing Mark Zuckerberg on The Social Network”, AKA Jesse Eisenberg. Considering that I live in a small town in Indiana, not LA or NYC, I assumed it was just a guy who looked like Jesse Eisenberg, not the real Jesse Eisenberg.

Turns out, I was wrong about that.

Yesterday, the guy-who-looks-like-Jesse-Eisenberg was in line in front of me at the check out, and I made polite chit chat with him and the cashier over the fact he had not labeled his dried pineapples from bulk and I had also failed to label my organic rolled oats from bulk, forcing the cashier to search for the bulk bin numbers of those items in the Folder of Truth. The cashier, during polite chit chat, kept studying at the guy-who-looks-like-Jesse-Eisenberg. Finally, she asked him if he was Jesse Eisenberg.

Yep. The guy-who-looks-like-Jesse-Eisenberg is a dead ringer for Jesse Eisenberg because he IS Jesse Eisenberg. Now I can tell people that I have met Jesse Eisenberg.

He was was dressed like any other guy his age in a college town and he was doing his own low-key shopping. He was shy and soft spoken, but was very polite about admitting he was Jesse Eisenberg. He also seemed awkward about being a famous actor; like he was slightly embarrassed to be the real Jesse Eisenberg. It was adorable and triggered my maternal instinct. I wanted to knit him something and fix him up with my Goddaughter.

There was a small collection of frat bros behind me, and they were all chill until Jesse Eisenberg made his exit. Then they and the cashier lost their collective marbles with the “holy crap that was Jesse Eisenberg”. I joined them, because it seemed the thing to do.  After all, how often does one discuss dried pineapples with an academy award nominee?

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